recently life 2012

In this year 

i got few friends that important to me 

because we really hand in hand to face problem 

so dont say that i dont care about friends 

because i know which friends is really good for me 

some of you guys 

i dont really understand y u guys should do like that 

but nvm 

i need to thkz to u guys 

to make me grows up 

not being like a child 

then i realize some of friends started to change 

i saw a lot of them started to wear mask 

showing fake things 

but i dont told out ...

bcause i still respect them 

they are still my friends 

and they didnt betrayed me 

so is ok for me 

not like others even betrayed still act like innocent 

SPM is near 

but im still here blogging 

like i dont care 

hmmm ... ==

times flies 

i deactivate my fb account 

not to show what 

i just what to get lost from those gossip place 

and it makes me feel angry when i saw those bitches 

so i stop 

wasting my energy 

so ...

this year i didnt dance for half year 

i damn miss it 

i realize im totally not in my group anymore 

there are someone replace me 

i know is non of her problem 

is my problem 

i didnt join for any events 

then my skills is not good at all 

i cant learn as fast as she did 

so i rather to being ignore 

im sorry to said that 

but i really try my best to ask myself not to think about it 

but when every minutes i saw and saw 

im an audience 

i might find another way out 

good luck to myself in future 

after SPM find a correct way 

after about my dancing 

talk about my friendship then 

i feel that i being transparent to the big gang 

i found out that im aint a friends to them 

just a pass by 

i try to get near 

but never get inside 

feel tired 

always been ignore 

so i learn to been ignore 

quite 

maybe im not in a good class and same block 

so forget about it 

maybe in future they will forget who i am 

learn how to be more stronger 

told to myself every night 

....

about my relationship 

actually nothing new 

because i didnt even forget about anything 

i still care 

i didnt forget 

i didnt try a new relation 

i always keep on asking what is going on that time 

there might have something that i dont know 

i wanted to know 

but not dare to ask 

every times i try to get a new 

but all the memories flows out 

i hope u can explain to me whats going on 

u ask me to wait 

but at last u push me away 

and u didnt even said a words 

u hurt me so well 

maybe times is a somedays 

but u stole everything 

and u never gave anything back to me 

u did it so well 

.....

at last i do really appreciate gods gave a parent which love me so much 

the most i will never let go 

although i know them lie me for a lot of stuff 

but i dont care 

i know the reason they do it 

when i was young 

i blame 

but in this time 

i know they really loves me 

very very very very much 

in future 

i hope i can gave them money to imigrate to others places 

i hope to leave here too 

to go some where else to get new life 

and forgot everything 

i told my friend before 

if one day 

someone hit my head 

i would like to forget everything 

just remember my parents loves for me

everything 

just forget 

too much to think 

how long 

how many nights i cant sleep well

its being uncountable 

one day i might go for doctor ... lol 

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end by Cynthia